By Frank Lucasale 
Setting boundaries doesn’t require volume. It requires clarity.
I used to think if I wasn’t firm or loud, my kids wouldn’t listen. But when I stopped yelling and started speaking with calm consistency, everything changed.
Here are five scripts that helped me set boundaries without raising my voice.
Script 1: “I won’t let you hit me. I’ll help you find another way to show your big feelings.”
Why it works: It stops the behavior while acknowledging the emotion. You become a guide, not a threat.
Script 2: “You don’t have to like this boundary, but it still stays.”
Why it works: You validate their feelings without changing the rule.
Script 3: “It’s hard to stop playing. You can choose to put the toy away, or I will do it for you.”
Why it works: You offer a choice within a firm limit. No empty threats. No yelling.
Script 4: “I won’t talk to you when you speak to me like that. I’ll wait until you’re ready.”
Why it works: It models self-respect and teaches that connection comes with kindness.
Script 5: “It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to throw things. I’ll help you calm your body.”
Why it works: You separate feelings from unsafe actions.
Boundaries don’t need to sound like threats. They need to sound like safety.