“How about that for experience?,” he crowed. “Not bad,” the bartender conceded, “but you’ll need to talk to the boss about the job.” “OK,”, the man said, “where is he?” “Well,” laughed the bartender, “he’s that bruised individual who is just now staggering back in through the front door!”

this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.”
The son, unimpressed, said, “Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?”
The father, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”

I’ll have that, please!” The waiter is astonished but goes back to the kitchen and brings out the Beef.

Next day the same bloke comes back. Same thing – the menu, but the bloke says “No – just bring me a dirty knife. He sniffs it, smells it, smiles and says “the sole meuniere is delightful, just delightful. I’ll have that, please!”So the waiter wanders off and brings him the sole.

Next day, same thing, but the waiter decides to screw with the bloke. He goes into the kitchen and says to the dishwasher “Maria, just rub this knife on your privates, will you? “So she does, and the waiter returns to the dining room. The bloke picks up the knife, sniffs it once, frowns at the waiter and says ” How long has Maria been working here?

She screams and starts running down the path. After a while she
stops to catch her breath. “This is silly” she thinks to herself
“there must be a rational explanation.”
She slowly retraces her steps and walks towards the
direction of the sound – tap, tap, tap. There, sitting on a
grave, is a gentle old man with a small hammer and chisel.
He is tapping out an inscription on the tombstone.
“Phew! You scared me” the girl says, relieved upon seeing him. “What
are you carving there?” The old man turns to her and smiles.
“I’m just correcting the spelling of my name”